Narrator: Nathaniel Parker

The Last Guardian by Eoin Colfer

I swear, my brain just CANNOT handle the last book in a series. When I read The Dark Tower again last year, I believe I mentioned that I had completely remembered the ending wrong. Guess what? Apparently the same with The Last Guardian. My brain filed away a grand “last stand” situation where Artemis and Holly pull Opal out of prison and she joins them in this last great attempt against an annihilative force. And while they don’t become friends, they learn to respect one another. My brain is adorable. It comes up with such creatively wrong things. So if you were […]

Posted February 24, 2019 in Reviews // 0 Comments //

The Atlantis Complex by Eoin Colfer

For as much love and praise as I give the Artemis Fowl series as a whole, I really could have done without The Atlantis Complex. Our other stories have been triumphs of good over evil. They’ve been filled with Artemis’s cleverness and Holly’s quick action, Butler’s brawn. The comic relief characters continue to shine in The Atlantis Complex, but outside of Mulch Diggums (who is becoming one of my favorite sidekick characters of all time), this book is just… off. So lets talk about it. Artemis Fowl has decided to give up his evil ways – like, really give them up this time – […]

Posted January 19, 2019 in Reviews // 0 Comments //

The Time Paradox by Eoin Colfer

The first time I read this, I gave it three stars. Since I didn’t leave a proper review, I have NO IDEA what my thoughts were at the time. Clearly, I was foolish. This book is magnificent. The Time Paradox takes us to Fowl Manor, where Angeline Fowl is dreadfully ill, and getting worse all the time. The Fowl men call in all their favors, touch on all their resources, but nobody knows what’s wrong with Arty’s mother. Nobody, that is, except the faeries. As it turns out, it’s an illness known to the folk and believed to be eradicated, […]

Posted December 30, 2018 in Reviews // 1 Comment //

The Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer

Book five of the Artemis Fowl series takes a little bit of a departure from the rest of the series. Whereas the previous four books have involved saving Haven city, or performing a heist on Artemis’s behest, this time both Holly and Artemis are working for a greater cause. We are introduced to a whole new group of faeries, who are caught in a time spell that is unraveling. When I read this series when I was younger, I didn’t care for The Lost Colony. I like the heists and the intricate world of the faerie underground, and a lot of […]

Posted December 3, 2018 in Reviews // 4 Comments //

The Opal Deception by Eoin Colfer

I still love this book. When I read the Artemis Fowl series as a kid, The Opal Deception stood out as my favorite. I just LOVE Opal as a villain. She’s cheesy and incompetent and overstuffed and I love it. In many ways, she reminds me of Yzma from The Emperor’s New Groove – filled with evil plots and intentions, but surrounded by unhelpful minions and plans that exceed her abilities. Basically, someone who is too smart for her own good and makes a mess of things. The Opal Deception excels in other ways for me – for one, we get a partnership between Butler […]

Posted November 7, 2018 in Reviews // 0 Comments //

The Eternity Code by Eoin Colfer

The last time I read The Eternity Code, I was a sophomore in high school. All I remembered about this novel was the very beginning – Artemis and Butler meeting an investor. So, of course, what happened two chapters later was a complete surprise. The Eternity Code gets us back to the con. Artemis shines the most when he’s plotting something, and in this novel, there’s a lot at stake. In return for the LEP’s assistance in retrieving a sensitive piece of (faerie) technology, Artemis agrees to a complete mind wipe. Yes, loves, that means this is the end of the […]

Posted October 17, 2018 in Reviews // 2 Comments //